I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
