I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
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the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
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Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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