They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
