Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I love you.
Bad choice
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
