Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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