Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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