Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he was CRYING into my vagina
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
