WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
