ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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