thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize