Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
