make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
