two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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