I'm really into asian looking animals
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I need water and some morals
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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