sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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