I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
