you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
