You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
