im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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