hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
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