i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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