I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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