tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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