just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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