I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
