be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
