i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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