so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
