Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
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I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
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Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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