drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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