I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
