My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
