I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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