My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
