im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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