This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
