Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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