even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
