I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
