Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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