Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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