drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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