Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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