he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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