Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
