i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
