Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize