I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
