So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Walk of Shame today included voting.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
