Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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