Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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