I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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