So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
