good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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