1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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