If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
