I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
