Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
