This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
